Why the Narwhal Song is BANNED on the Watchtower
by SailorSilvanesti
Summary: Flash and Nightwing may have accidentally totalled the new Javelin Cruiser...doesn't mean they have to like it when Batman punishes them! Time for a little revenge...Randomness and general Awesome, please R&R!


**Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans, Titans or Justice League...etc.**

**A Random idea that popped into my head when I was listening to the Narwhal song... Considering it's pretty much become the unofficial anthem of my friends and I...XD**

**ENJOY!^^**

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><p><strong>Why the Narwhal Song is <strong>**Banned**** on the Watchtower...**

**~)0(~**

Pre-flight checks, both automated and manual, returned reading all within normal, acceptable levels of operation for the Javelin 12 and yet something seemed off; it was the newest, having only just been refurbished and upgraded from the designs of Javelin 11… Which was strange, as the ship limping into the Docking Bay in no way resembled the pristine creation that had left it only hours earlier.

~)0(~

The truth was the ship had met an unfortunate fate at the hands of Amazo…that android just _couldn't take a joke_…uh_, speaking of people who couldn't take a joke_…

The rear disembarking hatch opened wide, revealing a sour-faced –well, more-so than usual- Batman; the Dark Knight strode in ominously, eyes panning the room though neither inhabitant could see past his cowl…

The one clad in red, skin-tight spandex trembled slightly, gulping just loud enough to be audible as the pitch-black cape snapped by his ear, Batman whirling about to face the cracked and crumbling viewport… Whereas the other, darker-clad hero, didn't move a muscle; the eyes were masked, but they followed Gotham's Protector all throughout the ship's bridge, merely observing as he moved about like a giant predator looking for something to slay…

"Uh…" ventured the Speedster, "I can totally explain…you see, we were going to save the world and then Amazo –_you remember him_?_ Big, tall, ugly _with all our powers and your intelligence…?- Yeah, he turned up and-" but the Dark Knight instilled silence with a single raised hand. He turned to face the silent one, who had not moved from his seat. Save to place his booted feet upon the sputtering, mildly aflame console before him and look back with interest at the whole proceedings…

"You hacked into the datafeed, didn't you?" The words were more of a statement, than a question and yet, Nightwing still nodded silently; withholding a grin as the older male glared balefully. "Are you aware the dangers involved in sending false information about the Javelin's location and condition…? What if the ship had gone down in the ocean, we would have Atlanteans and teams searching in entirely the wrong area, because you seem to think re-routing the guidance system for your own amusement is funny…now explain what happened to this ship? I'm assuming you've already deleted it from the ship's logs…"

Nightwing gave no reply, save to cross his arms and visibly wriggle into a more comfortable position, all whilst seemingly ignoring Batman…the Flash was nearly hyperventilating form the tension and fear of having, not only Batman, but an _angry_ Batman…in a very small space… Bits and pieces of his life began to flash before his very eyes… Had he _really_ told Brother Blood he should "…change his name to Brother Bathe? 'Cause, 'Brother, you need a Bath!" Wally groaned and sank low into the chair, covering his face with a palm…

However, the noise had the opposite effect to what he had planned…Batman whirled on him, sensing Wally to be the weaker of the two before him…he should know, he _literally raised_ Dick…and _knew_ the stubborn streak in the younger male to be almost as great as his own when it came to divulging secrets… "Wallace. Explain, now." Commanded the deep voice that so-often had criminals wetting their pants…

The Flash glanced sideways under his own scarlet cowl to his silent partner, who made no move save a tiny nod for him to continue, he took a deep breath and decided to 'go for it' in the manner only a speedster could, "Okay, so…_we-were-in-the-ship-and_-**BOOM!**- _out-of-nowhere-frickin-Amazo-appears_! _Apparently-he-was-on-board-the-whole-time-or-something,-but-we-flushed-him-out-an-airlock-by-the-way…so-it's-all-good_, right?"

Batman raised an eyebrow from behind the cowl, "You technically didn't tell me anything other than what I can infer from the technological carnage all around me," he stated, turning again to Nightwing; the younger man shrugged from his comfortable potion and inserted, "Flying Ship on Test Run. Amazo appeared from the Rear Compartment. Fighting occurred. Ship got damaged…he's now floating about in Space thanks to a very persuasive argument made by the Airlock. Any Questions?"

The Flash was starting to think he was in the middle of a Mexican standoff, and he just knew instinctively, his life was not worth enough to get out of this alive…

~)0(~

The whine of the Speedster's molecules as he flitted back and forth about him were grating on his nerves, but he said nothing…Wally was anxious, and this was just what he did to release the tension building in his body. Although, if the man would stand still for a second, it would ease the growing ache between his eyes that stated Amazo's last blow had probably given him a mild concussion…

Trailing deliberately slowly behind the swishing cape of the Dark Knight, the pair of younger heroes were seemingly unperturbed at being caught out partially-destroying the new Javelin…by the Goddamn Batman, no less! Nightwing's calm demeanour was an outward reflection of how he currently felt about the man…but there was no denying the smug smile that tugged at his lips, threatening to expose how pleased he was to have ticked-off his former-mentor in this manner…if only they could take it one step further…

Oh…there was an idea…

~)0(~

Not that the guy moving so slowly beside him wasn't the _utterly platonic_ _love of his life_, but Wally couldn't help but feel fear when he noticed the growing grin on his friend's face…it always meant something was about to happen…usually something _bad_…

And yet, even as he noticed this, there was concern over the pallid colour of Nightwing's face, but the other turned and smiled, "I'm fine, seriously, Wally." He poked the darker-clad hero, and again, before asking, "Are you _sure_ you aren't psychic? I mean-…" But he was cut-off by soft laughter.

"No, it's merely that you always worry and ask the same thing every time; that would be _my job_ by the way!" Dick grinned good-naturedly, neither even realising they had stopped walking and were standing still in the midst of a deserted corridor of the Watchtower, until Batman re-appeared. "Finished?" he inquired in that, _this-isn't-a-question-you-ARE-finished-now-follow-me_ tone he employed so well…

~)0(~

Standing in the technological heart of the Watchtower, the pair looked at Batman expectantly, waiting for some answer or instruction as to why exactly their seemingly endless journey had culminated in ending here.

Standing off to the side, partially hidden in shadows that magically seemed to follow him everywhere…-well, that was Wally's working theory, and Nightwing had yet to disprove it in a tactful way…ipso facto = without laughing his tightly-clad spandex behind off-…Batman waited silently, allowing tension to build.

Finally, the Dark Knight spoke, voice ominous and echoing in the small room, "In retribution for single-handedly destroying the newest Javelin, both of you will take double shifts of Monitor Duty AND fix the communications system. You are both capable of this task, so I expect it to be finished by no later than tonight, you have two hours." With that, he was gone.

Wally groaned and turned his head to moan dramatically at his closest friend, only to pause with his mouth open in confusion…why was he smiling? And…why did Nightwing suddenly look so evil…?

~)0(~

If the happenings of the last few moments were anything to go by, the Gods themselves were on his side…a strangely comfortable evil smirk lit up his features, absolutely shocking and horrifying Wally, whose mouth hung open so wide it was almost comical…

"We're going to sabotage the equipment." He stated calmly, and watched as the Flash nearly vibrated through the console he leant on, in sheer disbelief. "Wha- Where did this come from?" he demanded, looking straight at the deep blue mask that hid his eyes…

He exhaled calmly, "Revenge…and I'm bored. What? Don't look at me like that; I know you were thinking ungracious thoughts about him too, I just…think we should get even, and I have just the thing to do it…" Again, he felt the exceptionally creepy smile draw about his lips…

However, Wally was now intrigued, which was what he had aimed for, initially; so he explained his idea, enjoying the look of growing amusement upon the Speedster's face…

~)0(~

In semi-darkness, hidden within the bowels of the gigantic orbiting satellite, two heroes grinned at one another conspiratorially; sitting down upon the cool metal floor to await their first victim…

~)0(~

J'onn J'onzz, Martian Manhunter to those of Earth, sat in the control chair within the Command Room; his red eyes surveyed the console before him, before rising to monitor the hundred or so specially trained technicians scurrying about on the lower levels. All of which were currently monitoring the repair work being done about the Watchtower, as each system was vital; should one fail…it would be catastrophic, especially if it resulted in a cascade failure of all main systems…

The Martian shook his head, wondering exactly why his thoughts had turned so dark and pessimistic; maybe it was the influence of being around so many anxious minds…not to mention what Batman's thoughts must be doing to him…

Keying in one of the new algorithmic functions designed to increase the production of the air filters in the Tower, hopefully it would put a significant increase on the intake of CO2 through the filters and be able to produce more air for circulation and temperature control. Things had to be re-calibrated since the League had opened its doors to include a greater array of heroes…

Sighing with relief and rubbing his tired eyes as he input the final calculation, his fingers danced over the keypad one last time and the prompt to initiate the command sequence flashed on-screen; smiling as he thought of the nice long meditation awaiting him at the end of his shift, he pressed Enter in confirmation…

~)0(~

After the strangest telepathic call he had ever received, Batman returned to the Watchtower via the transporter, having tried to contact the Martian through the JLA Comm-links and getting nothing but nonsense about sea creatures…

Somehow, he just _knew_ Flash and Nightwing had a hand, if not a whole two arms, involved in this…

~)0(~

The earth-made machine spat out her order with a courteous tingling of bells, Shayera reached in and removed it, starving and tired after her last run-in with the sim-bots in the holo-training room…but frowned when she saw the obvious issue with it…

She pressed a button to alert the kitchen staff she wished to commune by intercom, "Hello? This is Hawkgirl, someone sent me chicken drumsticks, and I ordered the Ri'kthalian Pasta…and-…" Then her voice trailed off in horror, as the strangest thing blared through the speakers in response…

~)0(~

Before he even made it off the Transporter pad and to the Control room, where J'onn was patiently waiting –on the verge of a massive Martian-freak-out- he was contacted by another; this time Shayera, who had apparently also fallen victim to this strange musical phenomenon…

~)0(~

Pre-programmed as always, the battle simulation flickered to life around her; a dozen armed bots activated holographic facades to give them the appearance of Gordanians, they'd been left over from one of Hawkgirl's last training exercises and she'd thought, 'Why waste them?'

A field not unlike Mars' surface, devoid of life and red as the Australian Outback, materialised around her; and suddenly…

Sound; music and words blared through the speakers lining the room…

"_Narwhals, Narwhals,_

_Swimmin' in the Ocean_

_Causin' a commotion, _

'_cause they are so awesome!_

_Narwhals, Narwhals,_

_Swimmin' in the Ocean_

_Pretty big and pretty wide_

_They beat a Polar Bear in a fight…_

_Like an Underwater Unicorn _

_they have a kick-ass facial horn!_

_Like the-_

~)0(~

_-Jedi of the Sea,_

_They stop Cthulu eatin' ye!_

_Narwhals, they are Narwhals!_

_Just don't let 'em touch your b-"_

Batman disconnected his comm-link for a moment and waited to see if anyone else was trying to contact him through unconventional means, before listening as the music trailed off,

_Narwhals, they are Narwhals!_

_Inventors of the Shish-kabob! _

Then the song started back up again…he turned away from the Control Room, heading towards the Communications Room; it was time to pay Flash and Nightwing a visit…

~)0(~

Pounding his red-clad fist on the floor, seemingly unable to produce more than a soft, wheezing rasp…Wally, the Flash, felt tears of mirth welling up in his eyes; likewise, Dick was leaning against the wall, stifling all but the barest minimum of sounds as he laughed unashamedly. The prank, their master plot of revenge, was most assuredly going well, but they had not anticipated just how hilarious the responses of the various League Members would be…

Each frantic, panicked or unamused and angry call was re-routed through the communications console in the center of the room; and yet, the only reply they ever seemed to receive was about Narwhals, and in general, why they were so awesome…

Breathing was starting to become difficult for the pair of them, having laughed so hard for so long…their chests began to constrict with a tired ache…

And then Batman burst in…

~)0(~

Superman rested his head in his hands, leaning his elbows on the Meeting Room table, "They did what…?" he inquired again, sighing softly as the numerous voices of the founding members talked over one another in order to have their concerns rated by the Big Man himself…

The hubbub died out into a plaintive hush as Batman strode into the room, the muscular arms of Flash and Nightwing each within one of his hands, grasping firmly and near dragging the amused pair through the circle of their technical victims…though many more resided all over the Watchtower, but for now they were safe from those angry heroes…_for now_.

The Kryptonian looked up in surprise, "These two? They're the source of all this chaos?" He received nought but a silent nod in confirmation, "Care to explain it to him?" commanded the Batman, in a not-quite-question-more-a-mandatory-suggestion kind of way… Wally fidgeted like a child, who had been caught with his hand in the proverbial cookie jar, "Well…you see…"

"It was my fault, my idea; the blame is mine, leave Wally alone," interjected Dick, taking the blame like he always had as Leader of the Titans; Flash moved forwards with his mouth open to protest, but the grip on his arm intensified, and Nightwing shot him a surreptitious glare… He closed his mouth and backed off.

"First of all, I have to ask…why? What possible gain could you get from this?" asked Superman, looking tired –_an hour of Shayera and Diana in constant tag-team complaining against this seemingly random malfunction can do that, even to Superman_- putting on his best, serious expression…

Nightwing smirked, "Just…Because…"

Knowing better than to play the game, the Kryptonian merely stated, "Alright, I understand this may have been mildly revenge-based and motivated; but from now on, to prevent any such occurrence of Narwhal-related hysteria ever again…the _Narwhal Song_ is hereby banned upon the Watchtower." There was murmured agreement from all around the darkened room…the Founding Members of the Justice League feeling this is was an adequate punishment, Batman released Flash…and Wally moved to stand by Nightwing as Superman turned back to face the pair.

"Is there anything else you'd like to tell us, something you'd like to add?" the Kryptonian inquired politely, still giving him a chance to say his piece; but, after a quick glance at Wally, there was a quirk to the corner of the former Boy Wonder's lips. As he gazed directly at Superman, his face was expressionless…Nightwing appeared to consider the statement for a long moment before simply replying, "No."

Then turning and walking out of the room with Wally trailing, to many incredulous expressions; but, had he looked back for a moment…he would have seen the slight, proud smirk that graced the face of his former mentor…

~)0(~

Exiting the room, he turned and smiled at the following speedster as the door closed with a _Swoosh_…they leant on the opposite frames of the door, and Wally beamed…automatically demanding a high-five for their victory. Grinning, Dick happily conceded the action to the Flash.

Cool metal pressed into their backs, "Hey…thanks for…you know, you didn't have to…" he said, looking at Dick; said Protector of Bludhaven turned his head to look back, "But I did, Wally…_technically,_ I'm not part of the League…they can't penalise me or even implement punishment of any sort. I couldn't let them kick you out, you love this place…"

There was silence for a moment before Wally whispered, "_Thanks, man…_"

Nightwing grinned widely and remained silent; finally, when the babble of voices in the room rose again they pushed off the cold metal surface of the wall and started to move away. "So…what do we do now…?" asked Wally, curiously, their only option of revenge had been removed from their grasp…

There was a perk to his closest friend's voice when he next spoke, "That really depends on how you finish this sentence…_Here's a llama, there's a llama, and another little llama…"_ The speedster's eyes went wide for a split-second, wondering whether or not Dick had gone a little crazy from the significant whack Amazo had given him earlier…then he grinned as his memory sparked and replied, "_…funny llama, fuzzy llama, llama-…"_

"…_**Llama, Duck**__!" _they finished in chorus and laughed, startling Green Lantern and Aquaman as they passed the pair; throwing concerned glances over their shoulder, as if afraid to leave their backs unprotected around them. "Superman only said _the Narwhal Song_ was banned on the Watchtower," grinned Nightwing…

"He didn't say anything about _the Llama Song_…" exclaimed Wally with feverish excitement, catching on…

And they disappeared into the Communications Room once again, to wreak havoc…

~)0(~

Moments later, generalised Chaos occurred for the second time that day, aboard the Watchtower…Batman and Superman looked to one another in silent commiseration, already knowing who and where the culprits would be…

"…_have you ever seen a llama, kiss a llama on the llama…fuzzy llama, funny llama, llama llama, Duck!"_

They sighed collectively, both for themselves and the world upon which they would be unleashing these two, when it finally became time for them to take over control of the Justice League; if this was any indication, Batman thought, striding to the Communications Room –which seemed to be infested with giggling heroes of the younger variety- then Earth was certainly doomed…

As _the Llama Song_ drifted over the intercom, extolling the virtues of the strange beast whilst Flash and Nightwing laughed their tightly-spandex-clad behinds off in the next room…he wondered at the world they would create when they were the sole protectors and custodians…

Yes, a very interesting world indeed…and he smiled, turning away from the room… _Let them have their fun…_

_**The End.**_

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><p><strong>Hope you liked it!^^<strong>

**Please _Review_...===========**


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